


just feed your boyfriend Doritos so he won't die

by bishopsknifepatrick



Category: Fall Out Boy
Genre: It's supposed to be funny but I failed, Joe is me, M/M, i have no clue what i'm doing, this was stupid
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-03
Updated: 2017-08-03
Packaged: 2018-12-10 20:05:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 684
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11698971
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bishopsknifepatrick/pseuds/bishopsknifepatrick
Summary: Andy tries to get joe to exercise





	just feed your boyfriend Doritos so he won't die

The front door opened and in walked a very sweaty Andy. “Hey, I'm back,” he called to Joe, to which he received no response. 

“Joe,” Andy kept calling, walking through the hallway, checking rooms along the way for Joe. At the end of the hall was the living room. The TV was on watching some movie Andy didn't recognize. And then he stepped into the room further to reveal his sleeping, lazy boyfriend, with a chip halfway in his mouth and crumbs all over his shirt and jeans. A partly eaten Party Size Doritos bag sat next to him. 

“Joe,” Andy said, with a slightly raised voice, which he didn't use very often. Joe didn't move. Come on, Joe, I swear to god. If your lifestyle doesn’t kill you, I certainly will.

“Joe,” he yelled again. He was out. Andy finally decided yelling at him wouldn't work. He walked over and sat on the edge and shook Joe’s shoulder.

“What? What? Who’s that, I'm awake,” Joe said, very groggily, looking in all directions before his eyes landed on his boyfriend. “Oh, hi Andy.”

Andy rolled his eyes, almost frustrated, but making sure not to get angry. “One, you were not ‘awake’,” he says, with complete calmness because he becomes mother hen. “Two, you have got to stop doing this. Try exercising or something before you die at age forty and leave me all alone and then what am I supposed to do?”

“I'm not going to die. And even if I did, you could exercise all day,” Joe said confidently pointing his finger at him.

“You're not helping.”

“And you wouldn't have to buy me so many bags of Doritos.”

“Hey, I know what you could do. Exercise double and let's just say I exercised, too,” Joe said, with a smirk on his face. Andy gave him an annoyed glare, he got when he said or did something incredibly stupid. “You worry too much.”

“Come on, Joe. We could exercise together and be all couple-y and shit. It'd be fun. Pleasseeeeeeee.”

Joe leaned his head back, clearly only having one option in all of this. “Fineeeeee, one day. I will tr-”

“Yes!” He said, embracing Joe quickly. Joe hugged him back, surprised that this would actually mean this much to him.

“But if this is what kills me, you're going to get an earful.”

///

“Joe, for the last time, you can't bring your Doritos into the gym,” Andy said, as both of them walked threw the front door of the Crossfit Center that he goes to nearly everyday.

“I can do what I want, bitch,” Joe said, prompting a smile from Andy.

As they walked in, the air condition hit them, much to Joe’s dismay, “It’s freezing in here. How are you living?”

“What do you want to do first?” Andy said.

“What's the jungle gym for?”

“That’s a chin-up bar, Joe.”

Joe walked over to it and began to attempt chin-ups. “I think I got this,” he said after a minute or so, despite the fact that Andy was standing behind him, holding him at the waist and lifting him up effortlessly. 

“How do you even do a push-up?” Andy got down on his stomach and began doing push-ups with such ease, so Joe decided to lay across his back, eating his Doritos. Andy just kept going. What a man.

Joe just rolled off his back and onto the mat, face down, “I want to go home.”

“Come on, try the treadmill at least.”

“Noooooo,” Joe whined.

“You can eat more Doritos,” Andy tempted him. And just like that he stood up and made his way to one of the machine. 

“What are you doing?” a woman asked, staring at them.

“FEEDING MY BOYFRIEND DORITOS SO HE WON’T DIE, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?” Andy yelled, shoving another Dorito in Joe’s mouth as he ran on treadmill. This made her walk in the opposite direction out of fear. Or run.

Joe switched, the machine off and asked, with little breath left, “Can we go home now?”

“Fine,” Andy said, taking Joe’s hand. “Let’s go.”


End file.
